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Monthly Archives: February 2012

Real Love Requries Honesty

LoveRecently, I picked up a great book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey. Overall, I love the book except one part of it gave me pause and made me reflect. It was in the chapter about “Why Men Cheat” on their wives, girlfriends, etc. Harvey’s basic answers are: 1) They Can. 2) They Think They Can Get Away With It. 3) He Hasn’t Become Who He Wants and Needs to Be or Found Who He Truly Wants. 4) What’s Happening at Home Isn’t Happening Like it Used To. 5) There’s Always a Woman Out There Willing to Cheat With Him. And, ultimately he explains the man hasn’t got his priorities straight especially in having a real and meaningful spiritual practice in his life.

Ok. So far, so good. And, I also agree with what Harvey says regarding why a man is able to get away with his cheating and lying behavior with the women he is with. One reason this happens Harvey explains (using my paraphraze of what he says not his exact words now) is because any woman he is with hasn’t set high enough standards in her life to respect and love herself enough to see what is going on right in front of her and take a stand about it. She basically colludes in the notion that denial is good for you. After all, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.” And, since her denial lets him get away with what he wants to, he is happy to join in on the denial party with her. But, denial is not good for you and it feeds one of my four major love myths I discuss in my Attracting Real Love course — love is blind. Wrong! Real love actually requires 20 – 20 vision because you only know how to really love yourself and others when you are seeing what you need to see clearly.
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Which is why when I read this in Harvey’s book I decided I couldn’t disagree more. He says if a woman starts to catch on to a man’s cheating and lying behavior and starts to ask questions a man is going to just do more of his lying and denying game. Why? Harvey says men will do this “if we care about you. But, if not — if a man doesn’t see you fitting into his life plan — he won’t even bother with all of the covering up.” WHOA!!! Come on, Steve! I know the rest of your book also says that a man who really loves a woman won’t cheat, but let’s clear this up right now! Le’t not make it seem like somebody is cheating and hiding the truth from someone out of love. No way, no how!

So, why do we really lie? Plain and simple We’re afraid. Period. Why are we afraid? We don’t love ourselves or the people around us enough to live in truth. And, real love requires the truth. Not some blunt rude make people feel stupid and horrible version of truth. But, truth nonetheless! And, if you want proof of who has the most loving relationships going on between them? Well, it’s between people who can live in truth completely. They love and respect each other so much they want to be honest with them. They care about not hurting them. They care about being loved and respected in return for who they are flaws and all. And, they want a partner who can hear the truth and help bring it all into the realm of consciousness in a loving way and heal any fear in the realm of love. That means the more a couple lies to each other, the more they actually are in fear of each other, which means love really isn’t very present at all.

Now, why do we refuse to live in truth? It’s simple. We are thinking more about ourselves and coming from our egos. We simply don’t want to have to face the consequences of what we are doing and be forced to change our hurtful behaviors. We don’t want to feel bad about ourselves by having to see clearly what is really going on. Or, to share another quote, We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams. In short, we are afraid to love and feed fear in our lives instead.

Ok, I don’t expect people to be perfect. But, try this on for size. Next time you catch yourself or other people telling lies ask yourself this, “What am I afraid of and how does this reflect a lack of love in myself or a lack of love regarding the people I am with?” Then, ask this, “What would it be like to love myself and others enough to be willing to take the scrape, instead of give one?”

Notice this as well. Despite what people say finding out the truth doesn’t hurt! What hurts is discovering how much there was a lack of love and how real love was replaced by deception and fear. Remember, real love heals it doesn’t hurt. And, though it may hurt to find out about lies, shedding them actually opens you up to attracting more real love in your life creating space for the rapture described in the main quote above — for yourself and the people around you.

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2012 in Love

 

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What Is The Definition Of Love

LoveDefining love is not that easy. Love is a word with many connotations and everyone has their own interpretations. This is mine.

Dictionaries have different meanings for this word. But when I think about it, my mind conjures up images of all kinds of beautiful things that I have always associated with love. Flowers, chocolates, candle light dinners, hearts, soft toys, clothes and perfumes, (I hope I haven’t left anything out!) these are the words that have become synonymous with love… but, what about the feelings and emotions associated with it!

I remember growing up with stars in my eyes and love songs ringing through my ears. Slowly my dreams grew bigger and I started waiting for my Prince Charming to come along and take me with him to a beautiful land where we would be surrounded by servants, good clothes, flowers and jewelry. One day I realized the truth about love… that it was much more than material comforts and gains.

Love is Sharing
Believe me when I say that this is one of the most important ingredients of love. It is important to open ones heart and share – your happiness, your sorrows, your fears, your victories… everything, it really does not matter, as long as the heart is clear. Love is being honest and knowing that the other person feels the same way too, it is sharing and losing ones inhibitions and knowing that the person on the other side will never be judgmental.

Love is Talking
Yes, love is talking. It is about speaking, telling and sharing. After some time people restrict their conversations to discussing bills, children and pets. This is a sure indicator of things going down hill. Bring the spark back by starting a conversation. Talking can help solve matters that otherwise might lead to misunderstandings. Another aspect of that is listening. Talking is useless if the other person is not listening. Learn to listen too.

Love is Spending Time Together
A few minutes spent together everyday keeps the boredom away. I just made this up right now, but it is because I feel there is nothing like time invested in a relationship…believe me, it pays! Heavy work schedule takes up much time and effort, so it is important to get things into perspective. Spending time with each other will let you understand the other person better, help you know them better. And I believe that it gives the relation a different feel.

Love is Trust
When you love someone, you have to trust them. Love without trust is not possible. When you open your heart to someone, you have to trust them to take care of it, forever. Trust means that you have the confidence in the other person that they will keep their promises, be faithful and be there for you always.

Love is Faithfulness
To love means to be true, to love unconditionally means to give with all your heart to one, and only one. Being faithful in a relationship is very important, in love… it is the next thing to trust. Love is when you realize that that person is the best thing that has happened to you and you want to cherish that person and the moments spent with them, till death do you part.

Love is Being Friends
Love is being friends with each other. Enjoying simple pleasures in life like shopping, catching a movie or watching television at home, apart from a host of other things that “Friends” normally do! You have to tell them your secrets and keep theirs, be there for each other, and respect and trust each other.

And, as clichéd as this may sound… Love is looking together in the same direction, having the same goals and taking steps in that direction to make them come true.

I would like to end with one of my favorite quotations by D. H. Lawrence:

“Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly
and without law, and must be plucked where it is found,
and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.”

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2012 in Love

 

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Express Your Deep Love With Love Quotes

love quotesWhen it comes to love quotes few are as successful in their aim as romantic quotes. Regardless of whom the recipient is, there’s something to being told something truly romantic, even though the words being uttered are not original. Let us have a look at three examples of the type of romantic quotations that are likely to have the desired impact.

“I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

When his engagement to Zelda Sayre was called off, twentieth century American writer F. Scott Fitzgerald (most famous for his work ‘The Great Gatsby’) retorted to a letter stating it was probably for the best with the above statement. As far as love goes, it doesn’t get more solid than that.

Letting the world know that your girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, partner/lover means absolutely everything to you is bound to win you some bonus points along the way. Be warned though, “love quotes” with this type of intensity must only be uttered when you are 100 per cent certain of your love. Playing this particular card and then feeling otherwise a few days later is going to cause you more than a few problems that even the best “love quotations” won’t get you out of.

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.” (Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

Unfortunately, we don’t all have the literary talents of a Poet Laureate. Fortunately,romantic quotes such as that above sound fantastic no matter who recites them. So take advantage of a nineteenth century master poet next time you’re looking to express your deepest love

What’s more, this is the type of quote that can be readily included in the likes of wedding vows and wedding speeches. The idea of continually thinking about your other half to the extent that they are the only thing on your mind is exactly what this type of occasion stands for.

“A simple I love you means more than money.” (Frank Sinatra)love quotes

When Old Blue Eyes crooned this particular line in his single ‘Tell Her You Love Her’ back in 1963, a classic romantic saying became even more of a classic. Those three little words can mean so much, and at the same time they can generate just about as much desire as any words in the English language.

To Sinatra love had more importance to it than even his hefty bill-fold. If you’re a little younger and need it simplified, J.Lo meant the same thing when she sang her “Love Don’t Cost a Thing.” For any couple money worries will pop-up at some time, but even these can be toppled by love

The need to be loved is inherent in almost all of us, and people like Frank and Jenny realized that it is better to be loved that to be filthy rich. Whilst this might seem a little hard to believe, remembering to use romantic quotes such as these, and “love quotes” in general, is a good way of ensuring a little longevity to your relationship.

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2012 in love quotes

 

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Express Your Love In Valentine’s Day

loveValentine’s Day is meant to be a day of love and bliss for those who have a special someone in their life. But things can get a little stressful when trying to decide just how to express your feelings with a great gift. Of course you could opt for giving your other half the traditional flowers and chocolates, but let’s admit it – that’s pretty lame. That’s why we’re here to help with you a few unique Valentine’s Day gift ideas that will certainly score you some points for creativity and thoughtfulness.

Valentine’s day is a day of Love celebration. Valentine’s Day gives a reason and opportunity to the married person also to express one’s love and intimacy to spouse, and celebrate the long-lasting successful married life and good fortune of being together, and loyal to each other, forever.

Express your love with song. If you are looking to make the object of your affection swoon, you could try your hand at singing their favorite love song. But, if your vocal talents would get you laughed off American Idol, maybe you should turn to the professionals for help. Hire a Singing Telegram to deliver those flowers and chocolates while they sing a classic love song. Or perhaps you could book a barbershop quartet to harmonize your true feelings over a romantic dinner.

Acoustic guitarists, pianists, violinists and singers also make for great Valentine’s Day entertainment options if you want to plan a romantic evening at home for your loved one. If you need finding the right song for the occasion, take a look at our top ten Valentine’s Day song list for some great choices.

You can’t go wrong with Elvis.  You may be thinking, “Elvis, really?” But believe me, an appearance from the King of Rock and Roll will be something your sweetheart will remember forever. Hiring an Elvis impersonator to sing one of his famous love songs like “Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” or “Burning Love” would be tops on the most original gift list.

Make the moment magical.  So you have purchased the perfect gift. But you want to present it in a special way and aren’t sure how. Why not hire a magician and ask the performer to work the gift into the routine? When your wonderful gift magically appears it will be a fun surprise.

This Valentine’s Day give your lucky someone the gift of entertainment – it’s much more exciting than a box of conversation hearts! Remember, we’re here to help you find the perfect entertainment for your sweetheart. Unfortunately you are on your own picking out the card.

Love any of these ideas? Don’t forget to enter our Valentine’s Day contest and win free entertainment!

 
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Posted by on February 13, 2012 in Love

 

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