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Monthly Archives: April 2012

Suggestions On Helping You Move Beyond The Love Hurt

Love HurtIt is next to impossible to try to determine the exact time and place where it will occur. All we know is that when it happens, we know it is the one love we’ve been waiting for. This is why when and if something goes wrong with the whole experience of loving, we experience pain. Why does true love hurt and can we truly protect ourselves?

But there are little hurts too that can build into mountains of resentment if we don’t address them. Angry words are exchanged during an argument. A friend neglects your friendship. People take you for granted without even knowing it. Your child rejects you in a moment of hurt and frustration.

To hang on to hurt or anger is destructive to our emotional, spiritual, physical and relational health. It drains our energy, strains our relationships, and zaps the joy from our life. So how do we heal our heart when love hurts? Here are some suggestions to help you move beyond the hurt and get on with enjoying life.

Confront Your Anger: Our initial reaction when someone hurts or betrays us is often anger. Maybe we feel violated or disrespected. We want to perhaps lash back and make the other person hurt. Refrain from doing that. Anger expressed when we are hurt can be distorted and damaging to our relationships. Take some time to handle your anger in another way. Talk with a trusted friend, counselor or life coach. Express your feelings in a journal or write a letter to the person who hurt you (but don’t give it to them).

Seek Truth and Understanding: How can you better understand the person who hurt you? What truth do you need to know about the other person? Sometimes people hurt us because they are hurting too. Other times people hurt us unintentionally. Ask for the truth and be willing to hear, accept and embrace it. Share your truth and help the other person understand you.

Search for the Lesson: Experiencing pain and suffering is not easy. However, there is usually a lesson to be learned from our pain. What aren’t or weren’t you paying attention to? What does this experience teach you about yourself and the other person? What changes need to be made as a result of your pain? While the human drama includes pain, we have a choice in how to view it.

Give Grace: We are all human, and we all make mistakes. Some mistakes are worse than others, and some mistakes hurt more than others. Most of us are doing the best we can in any given situation. People make choices based on their past, their belief systems, and the past and collective thought of humanity. Unfortunately, people sometimes make choices that hurt us. We need grace when we make choices that hurt our loved ones, and our loved ones need grace as well.

Accept the Love Deposits: When we are hurt, it is sometimes difficult to accept the apologies and attempts to make amends from our loved ones. Maybe your guard has been thrown up and you’re unsure if you can trust again. One way to heal a wounded heart is to allow yourself to truly feel the sincere love deposits that are made to your emotional bank account. Maybe the love will come from the person who hurt you, but maybe it will not. Seek out and embrace the love that is being given to you.Love Hurt

Grieve the Sadness: With hurt comes sadness. Maybe you feel sad about what happened. Perhaps you feel sad about what you didn’t receive. Sometimes the sadness is an indication that you need to grieve the loss of a dream. Allow yourself to feel the sadness – let the tears flow. Crying is a very cathartic ritual.

Set Appropriate Boundaries: When our loved ones hurt us continually, we may need to set boundaries for healing to take place. A child may need to go to his room when his anger is destructive. You may need to end a conversation with someone who is hurting you. It’s even possible that you need to end a relationship that is repeatedly hurting your self-esteem. Healing cannot take place if we don’t take care of ourselves. And people will not begin treating us with respect until we respect ourselves.

Forgive: Lastly, we need to forgive so that we can move on with life. Forgiving does not mean that we condone our loved ones behavior. It does not mean that we allow others to keep hurting us. To forgive means to give up all resentment and the desire to punish the other person. In our heart, it means we’ve cancelled the debt we feel others owe us.

Sometimes the only way to know love is to experience what love is not. Whatever the question, challenge or decision, love is always the answer. God is perfect love, and His desire is for us to model His character. Healing from hurts moves us closer to love.

 
 
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Posted by on April 23, 2012 in Love

 

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Love Can Be Very Blinding To Ones Thoughts And Control Their Actions

LoveLove is a very powerful, happy, depressing, controlling emotion. Love is a bond created by two people who are in a relationship and have allowed their feelings and relationship to reach that point.It plays a role in your life that you would never expect. many people have experienced love at some point in their lives whether it was good or bad. It can change your life completely. You may even end up spending the rest of your life with the person you have fallen in love with. This emotion can grow and go on for years and years creating happiness for the couple leading to marriage and more. But love is not always what it appears to be, it can be used to manipulate and deceive someone.Throughout time there have been many different views on love and how it should be. Sometimes someone can feel a very strong way about how they feel towards their significant other and take that as love when that is not the case. Love can be very blinding to ones thoughts and completely control their actions. This can really hurt someone if what they feel is not really love. Women and Men can both play the role of being deceivers and manipulators; making the other person fall for them completely and just using them to get what they want or need causing a devastating outcome for just one person.

All though some people are just not ready for what love can bring to the table. Some may have had a bad experience with love and are just afraid to love again because they do not want history to repeat itself so they hold onto their past. That alone can keep them from experiencing a feeling like no other. That can also cause a lot of hurt to one person because you want to prove that you will not allow history repeat itself to your Male/Female partner and they won’t allow you to prove that to them because of their insecurities.

One of the most frustrating things women face is falling in love with a man who refuses to commit to her. He says he loves her and enjoys spending time with her but when it comes to making a commitment to her he refuses. Read on to learn one of the ways to overcome your mans fear of commitment.

Women who have discovered the secret to satisfying relationships realize that there really is no secret. There is no hidden treasure trove of wisdom that must be brought forth by a genie in bottle or found washed up on the beach of some deserted island.

The simple truth, one that should be as plain to every women as the nose on her face is that to be loved and respected and treated the way she deserves to be treated she must do this first in her own relationships. Do this one thing and a brand new world full of infinite possibilities will become available to her.

And what is this one thing that she needs to do in order to receive all the love, respect and kindness that she could possibly need and want? Find little ways to show a lot of love to those the mean the most to her and whose love and respect she in turn wants. Whether it be a spouse, lover, child, sibling or parent finding ways to show love and kindness to others is one of the key ingredients in a successful relationship.

Showering others with acts of love and kindness does not require large amounts of money, long time commitments or giving up what we want in life. It is simply a matter of realizing what is important to others and finding ways to meet their needs. Taking the first step to bring some happiness into someone else’s life with no thought for the benefits that we will reap from these simple acts of kindness and love will in most instances return ten fold the kindness and love we show to others.

If your man or the man you are interested in is worthy of you show him the love, respect and kindness he deserves. Take the above advice to heart. Everyone be it man or women yearns for certain emotions that make them feel good. If by being around you men experience and feel these emotions they will naturally want to be with you. This is not rocket science.

There are millions of single men out there. Do you know where to go to find the right man for you? And when you find your perfect match then what? Learn how to go from “hello” to “I do” as fast as womanly possible even if he’s a hard to land man.

 
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Posted by on April 16, 2012 in Love

 

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Send Romantic Love Letters For Specific Times

Romantic Love LettersWords are powerful, especially in a romantic love letters. Somehow when we express our emotions in a letter form, it adds an authentic permanence to them. It shows we say what we mean and we mean what we are saying. Letters of love acknowledge that we are not afraid to commit in writing a display of depth and sincerity that is tangible and lasting. It is for these reasons, that those who take heed, get some pretty fantastic results in return from the receiver of our passionately, written words.

Effectively striking is emotional language when embodied in romantic letters of love. Amazingly, feelings conveyed in a letter invigorates the core meaning of the chosen words. This reveals we stand behind the declaration we are making, and strong enough to do it in writing. This is why they are so unique (more now than ever).

Romantic love letters can never be boring or out of date. Living in the age of technology, the art of personal, hand-written letter writing stands out in a world where few take time go beyond text, im’s and emails. Love letters allow us to take the necessary space to gather our feelings and express them in writing.

Romantic love letters are timeless. They are a powerful means of emotional expression that will always exist, although the “old-fashioned” handwritten ones seem to be going the way of the dinosaur. Existing in the age of artificial communication, romantic letters are tangible, classic and magnetizing, due to the fact they are not very common.

With mass technological detachment and emotional insecurity running rampant when it comes to demonstrating pure love and devotion, distinguishing yourself as uniquely “human” to affirm your feelings in handwritten words – well, that is deserving of remembrance and worth exalting. If you think these treasured pieces should only be reserved for rare special occasions, then you are mistaken.Romantic Love Letters

5 Specific Times To Send Romantic Love Letters

1. When It Is Important To Express How You Feel

Writing a romantic love letter is about telling what you feel, completely sharing your emotions, asking for what you want and laying it out in written words. It’s not about paragraphs, prose or poetry. It is about having the courage to reveal yourself in such a way that it will profoundly affect and pierce through your partner as they read your palpable words.

2. Military Relationships

For generations, many in the military have written and sent romantic love letters to spouses (intimate companions) while in war or battle. Many of these warriors have in turn received letters of love and the result increased their courage, hope, strength and overall morale. Napoleon, being famous for many things, was also noted for the passionate love letters he wrote to Josephine while at war.

3. Valentine’s Day

Make Valentine’s Day extra special by sending a love note or sexy letter. For an added touch include lyrics to a favorite love song. The key is to make your love letter personal and unique to the person who will be receiving it. Letters sent digitally are great, but those that are traditionally written are even more touching and romantic.

4. Any time, Any day

However, written romantic communication should not be limited to just Valentine’s Day or anniversaries. These letters can be presented any time, any day for any season. From beginning infatuation to apologizing for wrongs committed, from winning back an ex to reaffirming a relationship already on solid ground, relationships go through various incarnations.

During especially difficult times, a genuine, heartfelt letter can calm tumultuous waters, putting both parties on calmer ground to re-evaluate matters. Frequently, sending a sexy or romantic letter to our partner is also a wonderful way to keep passion alive, articulate what we want & desire, or “just because”.

5. Stand Out

There will never be a day where romantic love letters will ever go out of style. Even now their “connective consequences” stand out in this technological era. In the age of what may be common and familiar, confessing our romantic hopes and dreams on paper makes us venerable and real – something worthy of exemplifying.

 

 

 
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Posted by on April 9, 2012 in Love

 

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