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Happiness came alone

This is my story. About the love that came alone.

Three years ago I was 23 years old and very unhappy. I had just left a rich, non-committed man who wanted to marry me and gave me everything I needed.

But one day, April 1 it was and just like in a joke I left him. There was a reason and quite a serious one. He wanted to own me. Leaving him meant losing my job (because I worked for him), my love, my comfort and money.

Another man helped me leave him; he was the third man in my life. I was madly in love with him. I simply adored him. Two months after we began dating, his ex-girlfriend called him and told him she was pregnant. He went crazy. He began behaving weird. He didn’t know what to do. Go to her or stay with me. At the end, he left me.

I cried myself out. For months and maybe years.

I started dating other men and hurting them. For only a year I went to bed with 5 men and left them in the worst possible way. I made them cry and beg me.

I felt nothing. I was the cruelest being in the world. My heart was broken and I found no meaning of life. But at a certain point I calmed down. I forgot the man that left me. He married that woman he left me for. I lost him forever and I knew I needed to move forward and to go back to normal, to somehow save my soul.

Weird enough after this so called balance, Paco appeared. I was at a bar and he approached and started talking to me. We spent our time together until 4 am and we couldn’t get enough of each other. It was hard at the beginning. He had just been abandoned by a woman he was 5 years with. So he was being mean to me. But I knew best what he felt and waited for the moment he would reach that calmness that I felt and everything will be perfect. Yes, I waited for him to go through that same hell I did, through the same agony for the unrequited love and I don’t feel sorry about it. Because now I have next to me the man I can rely on totally. I love him and I cannot imagine my life without him. We have our wedding planned in 3 months time, exactly two years after we met. And I think that happiness comes alone to us, without looking or crying for it. The only thing we need is to be at peace with ourselves.

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2014 in Love

 

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5 simple ways to show your wife how much you love her

 

For the most part, men and women have different views when it comes to how to show affection and love. Many men are not the romantics. They may only show their love and affection in the privacy of the bedroom. But a touch of romance beyond the bedroom never hurts in a marriage.

I knew from day one my husband was not the romantic type. He views romance in a different light. But he has come a long way. Throughout the years, he learned how to romance me. He shows me how much he loves me through minor details – baking my favorite muffins on a Sunday morning, buying me random gifts, sending an email explaining how much he appreciates me, or putting fresh flowers from our garden with a sweet note in our bedroom. Though they are minor details, it means more to me than anything lavish.

What your wife considers romantic may not necessarily be romantic to you. And that is OK. However, try to bring forward a tiny piece of romance into your marriage as often as possible. If your wife is romantic towards you, study what she does and says. You will slowly realize how easy it is to show your wife love.

Gentlemen, here are a few simple ways to let the love of your life know how much you love her.
A gift

If your wife points out to something she likes, but, unfortunately, cannot afford at the time, take a mental picture of the item. On a day you are alone, buy it for her. This will show your wife you were listening to her and that you care. Another idea to consider is writing a sentimental note and placing it in her purse.
Be supportive

If you see your wife in distress, without telling her, start working on her to-do list. Help the children with their homework and school projects or do the food shopping on a day she’s working late. Your wife may develop stress from work. Take out time to talk to her about why her job is stressing her. Sometimes talking things out relaxes a person.
Reminisce

Walk down memory lane.Talk about a memorable moment you both shared. Maybe the memory was something that happened at your wedding, at a friend’s party or a simple walk in the park. The memories will bring back magical feelings.
Attention

When your wife needs someone to talk to, turn off the television, the computer and put your cell phone aside. A slight sign of distraction will send off the wrong signal to her. She will think you do not care. Giving your wife undivided attention only shows her you are interested in what she has to say.


Advice

If you find yourself troubled or confused over something, ask your wife for advice. Let her know her opinion matters.

If you have love in your heart, don’t hold back on showing your wife. Showing her will brighten up her days and bring more sparks into the marriage. Let your heart do the work.

 
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Posted by on October 23, 2014 in Love

 

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Love Story

 
Chapter One

Our love story started long before Matthew and I ever actually met.

And when you think about it, most love stories start that way. Every moment leading up to the one in which you meet your future husband or wife somehow shapes you and prepares you for that person you were fated for. Any previous heartbreaks or dark days or lonely nights can be crucially important in the grand scheme of things—sometimes we need to know what something feels like when it’s wrong before we can ever really know it when another thing is RIGHT.



So that’s why I need to start the story with a little bit of background. The whole “girl meets boy, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl get married” model is a little too simplistic for my needs. You people want details, don’t you? Of course you do.


When I was 18 years old and working as a waitress at a little family restaurant, I met a guy who was 10 years older than me. He was the one who came before Matthew. We dated for three and half years, and even lived together during the last year and half of that relationship. We moved into a tiny little house and owned Gracie and Cooper together and our relationship was never a terrible one. He was a good guy, I was a good girl, and we really did love each other.


But for every moment of those three and a half years, I had a nagging, itching, aching feeling that he would never be the right one for me. Despite his great heart, he lacked ambition and drive and handled his finances very poorly and, at the heart of it all, was very insecure despite being a bright and attractive guy. I understood him, though. I understood that his family had never prepared him for LIFE, and the poor decisions he had made as a younger man had him caught in a sticky web and a hole he just couldn’t seem to dig himself out of.


As the years went by, he could give me less and less of what I needed. Things became strained between us. I was a terrible nag, and I see that now. But the problem was that there were just too many things about him that I wanted to change. And as I began to realize that I could never change him and shouldn’t have to, I struggled SO much with what the right thing to do was. It ate away at me day and night, because I honestly couldn’t imagine my life without him. And being alone TERRIFIED me.


Somewhere during all this, I read the book The Secret which is all about the law of attraction. I really, really believed in what it said. It inspired me. I realized that I had not arranged my life in a way that allowed for all the things I so desired. I hate to skim over this because it’s so important, but let’s just say that I KNEW I had to decide what I wanted my future to look like and start taking active steps towards attracting that future. And staying in my current relationship at the time was a major roadblock. I knew in my heart that if I stayed where I was, life would always be a struggle.


So one day the breakup finally happened. We talked and cried for hours and finally decided that we could never truly work. He decided to move out and let me stay in the house and keep the dogs because, on his income alone, he couldn’t afford to live there (I made enough waiting tables to cover the bills if pennies were tightly pinched).


I can honestly say that the 48 hours after that break up were the toughest of all my life. I ugly-cried those kind of tears that come from somewhere inside you didn’t even know existed—a place of fear and sudden awareness that you are completely alone.


And that’s the place I was in when I met Matthew. We met a mere 48 hours after the ex and I called it quits, which could either be considered really terrible timing or really great timing. I choose to believe the timing was perfect.


But let’s back up again for just a minute.


Remember how I was working at that little restaurant? Well, for a couple of years I’d been waiting on my future in-laws without even knowing it. We’ll just call them Mr. and Mrs. D for our purposes here today.


They were an odd couple. Mrs. D was a beautiful blonde and friendly as can be, and Mr. D was quiet, reserved, and hard to read. I really enjoyed waiting on them, though, and I found it amusing when Mrs. D would occasionally mention their son in California and how perfect he and I would be for each other. She mentioned this to me on at least two or three occasions, but I always laughed and just politely reminded her that I had a boyfriend. I came to find out later that, in actuality, Mrs. D talked a whole lot more about Matthew and I one day meeting than I ever knew at the time; Mr. D now says he had to hear about it every single time they came to the restaurant, and Matthew, when he was in town, would always go to eat there and would hear about me then, too. But for some reason, I was never working when Matthew happened to stop in with his parents, and our paths never crossed.


But then one day, on January 19, 2009, our paths DID cross. And to make it all the more strange, I wasn’t even working that day—the encounter was, TRULY, by chance.


Little did I know when I woke up that morning, Martin Luther King Day and a university holiday, that my life was about to be turned upside down.




Chapter Two


It was a Saturday that the ex and I had broken up, and by Monday morning, though I was by NO means “over” the breakup, I was feeling ever so slightly hopeful; or at least looking forward to a fun breakfast with a friend.



One of my male coworkers was (is) like a brother to me; we were hired on at the restaurant around the same time, and over the six and a half years until this point in the story, he and I had become close and occasionally planned a breakfast outing to catch up on the events of each other’s lives. A week prior to this aforementioned Monday, he and I had planned to meet for breakfast at the restaurant where we worked – only I got called into work when another waitress went home sick. I didn’t know it at the time, but this was a game-changing move. One of those moments where the Universe intervenes because that particular event wasn’t in keeping with the greater plan.



Truth be told, if I had met my friend for breakfast on that previously planned date, or if I had shown up to the restaurant even a single moment later on the day we DID end up meeting, Matthew and I would have never met. My life would be drastically different right now. Funny how the smallest little decisions and changes of course can alter the entire plot of your life.


So on that Monday morning, January 19 of 2009, I woke up, got showered and dressed, and headed out to a 9:00 AM breakfast with my friend. Like usual, I was running a couple minutes late.


Once I arrived, I parked my car and walked across the lot and into the little diner where my friend Chris was already waiting in the line to be seated. We chatted for maybe thirty seconds before the outside door of the restaurant swung open and, to my surprise, there was Mrs. D! She seemed excited to see me and exclaimed, “Jenni! I know this might seem strange, and I know you have a boyfriend, but my son is here in town—we were just leaving, and I saw you walking up—I’d love for you to come out and meet him!”


I gave her a hug and laughed, saying, “Well, actually, me and my boyfriend just broke up, so it’s ok.”


I thought I’d humor her. Many proud mamas had bragged on their sons to me before, and if or when I ever did end up meeting these “handsome” princes, things were usually awkward and anything but a match made in heaven.


Mrs. D led me just outside the little foyer where we’d been waiting. Her car was a few feet away, and the driver’s side door was still open where she had gotten out. I peered into the car and there he was: the infamous son.


I’d be lying if I said I heard a choir of angels singing, or if I said a bright light shone upon him like some supernatural vision from God, but there truly was instant attraction. He reached over from the passenger side seat to shake my hand and said, “Hey! Nice to finally meet you!”


He had the bluest eyes I’d ever seen, and from then on I was in somewhat of a stupor, which is not unusual for me when faced with awkward social situations (especially involving shockingly attractive members of the opposite sex).


I said something along the lines of, “It’s really nice to meet you too! I’ve heard a lot of good things about you, and I just love your Mom!”


Mrs. D mentioned then that Matthew was going home to California the next morning but would be back in a couple weeks. I replied saying maybe we would see each other again when he returned, and the conversation wrapped up.


But in typical Jenni fashion, I had to say at least one ridiculous thing before going along my merry way, so just as I turned around to walk back into the diner, I decided to poke my head in the car one more time and say, “oh, excuse me SIR? What did you say your name was again? I already forgot!” Yes, I called him SIR. And as soon as that word flew off my tongue I was mortified with myself. Why the !@#$ did I just call him “sir?” What an idiot!


He just laughed and said “Matthew.”


“Ok, thanks!” I replied. “Maybe I’ll see you again soon!”


They left, and I went back into the restaurant where my friend was waiting.


And just a couple moments later we were inside and seated at our table near the back of the little one room diner.


We ordered our breakfast and, after a few more minutes, the hostess walked up to our table and slipped me a little note. “That guy just came back in and told me to give this to you. He saw you sitting with Chris and didn’t want to be rude and interrupt,” she told me.


My heart skipped a beat. I unfolded the little note. Matthew had written his name and phone number and the message: Be back in two weeks. Would be great to hear from you!


I was shaking. I can’t explain it, but I felt like I was dreaming. My mind was racing with thoughts of how completely serendipitous this encounter was, but how completely awful it felt to be entertaining thoughts of another relationship so soon after my last one ended.


One of the waitresses at the restaurant, a good friend and mother-type figure to me, stopped by our table and read the note. She had seen the whole thing unfold, and the way Matthew had come back in and stared back at me as I chatted obliviously with my friend. With a knowing look on her face, she said “Jenni, it’s a God thing.”


And she turned out to be very, very right.


Mrs. D and Matthew both corroborate the story that, when they had left the restaurant after our initial meeting, Matthew matter of factly told his mother that I was the one. That he knew it. And she said she had always known it. She told him what I said about my boyfriend and I breaking up, and Matthew demanded she turn around. They came back, he scribbled his note on that little piece of paper, and he went back in to find me.


And I COULD just say “the rest is history,” but that really wouldn’t be doing the story justice. The part that comes next is half the fun! I suppose that sometimes fate might whisper, but in our case, it screamed.




Chapter Three


Three full days passed after that fateful encounter, and the little note Matthew had left for me remained tucked away inside my wallet. I certainly wasn’t following any rule on how many days to wait before calling a guy; rather, I was feeling pretty terrible about calling him at ALL, given my still VERY freshly single status. My ex-boyfriend hadn’t even moved out of our house yet, and although I remained fully aware of that note and secretly wanted to call the number on it, I refrained. It just seemed so wrong to be having thoughts about another guy so soon.



Then, on the afternoon of the fourth day, I went to work and, as I clocked in on the register, I noticed a bright blue, folded sticky note with my name on it taped to the window beside me. I pulled it off and opened it, and there was Matthew’s name and number again, but this time in the handwriting of one the hostesses who answers the phone.



I turned to my manager and asked what it was all about. “This guy already gave me his number!” I said, confused. “What is it doing here again?”


My manager gravely told me that Matthew had called the restaurant and asked for me the day before, but since I wasn’t there, he simply left his name and number with the hostess. “Is this guy stalking you? Do you want me to call him?” he asked with concern.


I laughed and said I didn’t think so. But secretly, I was impressed with Matthew’s tenacity. He was interested, and he wasn’t beating around the bush about it. I liked that.


I texted him that afternoon and apologized for not calling. I told him that I’d wanted to, but it had only been several days since my ex and I had broken up and it felt a little irreverent to be calling another guy so soon. I said that I’d call him when I got off work that night.


The reply I received went something like this: Ok, little miss four days later! Good thing I remain optimistic, ‘cause it was beginning to look like I wasn’t going to hear from you!


Matthew later told me that those were the most torturous four days of his life. He kept his phone within an arm’s reach and pondered whether or not I was playing hard to get or something. When he didn’t hear from me right away, he had called the restaurant (from California!) in case I had “lost his number.” Patience is not this man’s greatest virtue; I can definitely attest to that now!


I don’t want to skim over anything, but I also don’t want to drag this out for weeks. So let’s just say that I called Matthew that evening, and by the end of about a one hour conversation, I knew I had just met the man who would one day be my husband. I called my best friend the next day and told her so, which, naturally, was met with a somewhat apprehensive “umm… ok?”


Truth be told, the relationship encountered quite a bit of trepidation from my friends and family, and understandably so. Everything happened so fast and so furious and so SOON after the end of my previous relationship.


Matthew was almost seven years older than me, had a successful career in insurance and financial services, lived states away, and still seemed dead set on ME. People didn’t trust him, and even I had my moments of doubt as things moved along at lightning speed.


During the week after our first phone call, we talked for hours every night. I learned that he was a huge fan of the book The Secret, just like I was, and he told me that he, too, tried to live his life by the principles of the law of attraction. Coincidence? I think not.


He also told me he had moved his trip back to Texas up a few days so he could spend more time with me, and our first date was scheduled for less than two weeks after our initial meeting. I remember getting a text from him just a couple days before he flew back down to Texas, and it said that he “couldn’t wait to have me in his arms.” I was a little alarmed by this, given that we hadn’t even had our first date yet, but I sort of loved it all at once. It was nice to feel wanted without that veil of pretense and cautious, “acceptable” behavior. Matthew is one of the few people in this world who throws themselves shamelessly and without hesitation at whatever they desire.


So we had our first date. I wore a little black dress with heels and a bright green sweater, and he wore jeans and a black button up shirt. We met at Starbucks, we hugged like old friends, he led me to the car he’d borrowed from his dad, and he opened my door for me like a true gentleman. He started the car and a CD began to play – all my favorite songs, one after another. I demanded that he admit he’d stalked my Facebook and made a CD from all my listed favorite artists, but he denies it to this day. Either he’s lying, or we just have identical taste in music. Either way, it was perfect.


And that evening began a week of “first dates.” We had dinner together several times, went to the movies, visited the nearby Natural Bridge Caverns and Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch in San Antonio, spent his birthday with his parents and grandparents, and then said a very bittersweet goodbye before he headed back to California.


I think it was on the third date that week that I really fell in love. We were deep under the ground in the chilly caverns and listening to the tour guide as she lectured on stalactites and stalagmites, when Matthew wrapped his arms around me from behind and just held me there as we stood. I can’t explain it, but it just felt… RIGHT.


A few days after he went home to California, on Valentine’s Day 2009, I received a very special delivery while I was at work – a gift that would turn out to be one of the most amazing and romantic things I’ve ever been given.


 Chapter Four 


In part three, the story left off just after our week of first dates and Matthew’s return home from California, and just before Valentine’s Day two years ago. I was at work that Valentine’s Day evening when a special delivery arrived for me via Matthew’s mom! I was too busy to chat with her much when she arrived, but she dropped off my gifts along with a gorgeous dozen white and red roses from Matthew. He had arranged all this before he left!


I waited to open my gifts until the restaurant was closed for the evening, but believe me, I thought about them ALL NIGHT LONG! Once the last customer had finally left, I sat down at a table with my roses, a large yellow manila envelope, and a wrapped gift. A note on the outside of a card instructed that I open the wrapped gift first.


In order to understand the significance of what comes next, you have to first understand my obsession with New York City. During those few weeks that we had know each other up until this point, Matthew and I had discussed how much we both loved it there, and how it is my absolute favorite place on Earth. So I opened my gift and found this adorable New York picture that Matthew had hand decaled with romantic little words:



I was tickled by that, of course, but what was in the big manila envelope was the real kicker.



Matthew had created this full page invitation (with a beautiful photo of a bridge in Central Park faded in the background), and it read:

(My Name)
You are hereby cordially invited to
“The City of Lights”
On Monday, the Ninth of March,
Two Thousand and Nine
at
The Ritz Carlton New York, Central Plaza
 
Enchantment will start promptly at 8:00 PM,
Romance will begin at first site,
…..Falling in Love will last a lifetime
 
Host: Matthew (Last Name)
Price of Admission: Your Company, Your Smile, and Your Grace
Please RSVP by February 16th, 2009
 
We apologize for any inconvenience,
Kisses are the only form of payment accepted at this time
 

Ummm, yeah. CAN WE SAY EVERY GIRL’S DREAM COME TRUE?!?! And Matthew had also created a fake airline boarding pass with the assigned seat “next to your man” and with flight and confirmation numbers matching the days of our first two dates. I know. Sickening! I’m here to tell you that not every man is completely clueless when it comes to romance!


So needless to say, I accepted the invitation, and that trip to New York City with my future husband turned out to be the most fabulous few days of my life. The Ritz Carlton ruined me for all eternity. I will compare all hotel experiences to that one, and nothing will ever match up. Matthew convinced the poor fellow at the front desk to upgrade our stay from a basic room to a two room, two bathroom suite, at no extra charge (the guy is a sweet-talker, what can I say?), and from our room on the seventh floor (my lucky number) you could sit on the window seat and gaze down at sixth avenue and central park below. I spent many teary moments on that window seat, wondering when I would wake up from this lovely dream.


Thankfully, I never did.


Matthew had brought along the movie Serendipity for us to watch while there in New York, and the next day after watching the movie in our cozy room, Matthew surprised me with lunch at Serendipity 3. Appropriate, yes? Here we were inside the restaurant:

After that New York trip, Matthew and I continued a long distance relationship. We would see each other every 3-5 weeks on average, he flying down to San Antonio where I lived at the time, or me flying up to Huntington Beach, California where he lived at the time.


In June of that same year, we took yet another trip, but this time to Maui, Hawaii. Mind you, we had only been dating four and half months at this point, but I had a feeling a proposal was imminent.


A couple of days into our stay, Matthew surprised me with a limo ride to a location away from our hotel, where we found a small table set up near the beach, complete with white linens, a candle, and a little vase of fresh flowers. We had our own private chef, who was arranged about 10 yards away, cook us one of the most delicious meals I’ve ever eaten (some type of grilled Hawaiian fish – whatever it was, it was amazing!).


BUT. Things really did not go as Matthew had planned for them to or at all how he had envisioned. We laugh about it now, but our romantic and private little dinner table was smack dab in the middle of a grassy clearing between another hotel and an enormous ugly apartment complex with hundreds of balconies overlooking our little spectacle. We were also within about 15 feet of an outdoor shower spicket which people were coming up to from the beach to shower off under! It was awkward to say the least, and Matthew was pissed. At one point he went over to the chef to “check on our meal,” but he was really asking for the ring back – it was supposed to be “served” to me with the dessert, but Matthew was so displeased with the atmosphere that he decided to postpone the proposal.


The meal wrapped up, and I was feeling anxious. Knowing Matthew, I had a feeling he wouldn’t propose under these imperfect circumstances, but I wasn’t sure!


We ended up taking our limo back to our resort – and BY THE WAY. The limo was 1980’s style Uncle Guido GREEN, inside and out, which was another scenario Matthew had not planned for! The whole ordeal was definitely laughable.


So when we got back to our hotel, Matthew suggested we take a walk before the sun set. Mmm-hmm, “a walk.” Ok, buddy! I thought to myself.


As we walked along beside the gorgeous floury-soft sand beach, we suddenly reached a little clearing where there was a patch of green grass beside the sand, and Matthew stopped. My heart skipped a beat, and before I knew it, he was on one knee, saying something about loving me a whole lot and wanting to spend the rest of forever with me, et cetera, et cetera. Honestly, and sadly, I might add, I don’t remember his exact words. Even though I expected this proposal, I was still in some sort of weird shock. Maybe it had something to do with the gorgeous shiny rock that was sparkling up at me as he spoke – just sayin’!


Obviously, my answer was YES. And I believe they usually end these little fairytales with “happily ever after.”

man, I miss that tan.


But the truth is, things haven’t always been super easy; living states away from each other for that year before our wedding was really tough. Once we DID get married and moved into our home together, we had to learn to live as a couple – but I can honestly say that when you are deeply and unselfishly in love, things aren’t that hard. And I wish each and every one of you, if you haven’t found it already, a love story just like ours – not because our relationship is perfect (because it isn’t – honest), but because we have found a way to love one another despite. Despite our imperfections, despite our quirks and idiosyncrasies, and despite a sometimes uncertain future.


This first year of marriage has taught me a lot, and I can’t wait to share our journey with all of YOU. This life can be a beautiful thing – sometimes sad, sometimes tragic, sometimes full of sorrow and suffering and pain – but ALWAYS full of love.


I’ll leave you with something I wrote on a private blog on Valentine’s Day two years ago, just after receiving those gifts from Matthew:

I have learned to listen to my heart.  I have learned that if you never make room for better things and better ways to be, if you never clear out the things in your life that stand in the way of your happiness, then you are not aligning your universe to allow for amazing things.   In this life, you don’t find yourself.  You create yourself.  And the same goes for love: you don’t find love, you create a road for love to travel and wait for it to come.

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2014 in Love Story

 

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Beyond just sex, finding real intimacy with your spouse

Intimacy includes the realms of emotional, social, mental, spiritual, experiential and sexual closeness. Intimacy is defined as “a close, familiar, and personal relationship with another person; a detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, person, period of history; or an expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like.” While society often focuses on sexual expressions of intimacy, sex is only one kind of a token — a symbol or evidence of — one realm of intimacy, not actual intimacy itself. How then, can a couple fill the deeper need for true intimacy beyond their sexual relationship?
Pray

Talk together to God as if he is the Father who cares because he is. Talk to him as if he is the God with power to help because he can. Pray individually, but also pray as a couple and as a family. Praying together will also teach you the concerns and gratitudes important to your spouse. My husband and I have already noticed that praying together softens our hearts and prompts us to positive changes we can make individually and together.
Focus on the other

One couple struggled because neither of them felt any intimacy needs were being met, but realized they spent most of their time brooding internally about feeling neglected by the other. Consciously looking for ways to serve their spouse not only helped them get to know each other better, but also helped them each feel more loved. Small and simple acts of service for each other will go a long way toward melting hard hearts and returning your relationship to a place of tenderness.
Listen

Being attentive to someone you love is the best way to learn who he is and how to meet his needs. We learn and grow every day, and so are not the same as we were yesterday — much less 10 or 20 years ago. Listening well to your spouse will help you feel connected to him, understand where he is in personal development struggles, support him in challenges, and discover ways you can help.
Counsel together

There is a lot of “business” in a relationship, from childcare to finances to housekeeping. These are shared responsibilities for both partners, and so it is important to take time to discuss these issues regularly and often. How does your spouse feel about the job? What’s been hard with the kids lately? Where can pennies be pinched, and what are you doing well? What spiritual guidance has each felt that needs to be applied as a family? What has there not been enough time to say, and what are you especially grateful for this week? How do you need help, and what is going well? These are all important things to communicate with your spouse, and the answers from your spouse will give you new pieces to who she is today and who she wants to become.
Spend time together

Couples often forget they are a “couple,” above all else. Work, kids, caring for aging parents, and community responsibilities are all a good part of life, but couples need time together when they are just a couple. Make time for regular date nights and find activities you can do together — apart from the regular “business” meetings together. You can be creative, rekindling your courtship without spending a lot of money or neglecting other duties. Include the Passion Plan as part of your time together!
Encourage instead of criticize

Sex can meet some of our needs for touch and closeness, if shared lovingly as a couple focused on the other. But some of those same needs can also be met by appreciating our spouse, celebrating her successes and engaging in non-sexual touch. When we appreciate, our spouse will recognize success and be motivated to try harder. When we hold hands, touch our spouse’s back as we reach past them for something or even dance together in the kitchen, these communicate closeness and touch in tender ways.
Remember the three T’s

Laura M. Brotherson, the author of “And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment,” points out that women need talk, touch and time to feel loved and to be prepared for physical expressions of that love. Talking will help you feel emotionally connected, time will help you both feel appreciated and understood, and non-sexual touch will help her feel loved without the pressure of expectation. This creates a safe and inviting environment in which she can respond with her own demonstrations of love and affection. It is emotional intimacy that improves physical intimacy.

Intimacy is more than just sex, and sex alone does not fulfill our needs for intimacy. It means to know someone well, and to work hard at loving well. To love someone else means to serve willingly, and with good cheer. It means to forgive, apologize, and appreciate. Increase love by expressing it. Express it internally through positive thoughts and appreciation. Express it outwardly through continued and ongoing courtship. Serving each other will help you see your spouse the way God sees him or her.

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2014 in Love

 

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Ways to show your husband you love him

 

    Men and women share a lot of similarities. But they’re also vastly different. And I don’t just mean anatomically. Men have different drives, desires and motivations than women. And because men and women are different sometimes there are a lot of misunderstandings between the genders.

    Nowhere are men’s and women’s differences more apparent than in how men and women feel loved. Because you love your husband you want him to know it. But because he’s a man sometimes it’s difficult for you to show him you love him in ways that he will see. So sometimes you feel like he really doesn’t understand how much you love him. Well, here are three things you can do to show your husband that you really do care.
    Plan the date once in a while

    There’s an unspoken expectation that men are supposed to be the ones to plan the date. And, usually, they’re happy to do it. But after a while they begin to feel that it’s misbalanced for them to always be the one to do it. After all, you’re both married now so why does he have to be the one to do it all the time?

    Planning the date shows your husband that you care about your marriage enough to break old gender stereotypes and plan the date once in a while. And this will show him that you care in big ways that he will see and appreciate.
    Send random texts

    Everyone has seen postcards that say something like “wish you were here.” And when you received one of these postcards it makes you feel good that someone was thinking about you enough to lick a stamp and send it to you. It’s not a big, long letter expressing undying love. It’s just a simple postcard. But it still made you feel loved.

    Nowadays, e-communication has taken the place of snail-mail and postcards. But e-communications can still have the same effect. And one of the ways of showing someone you’re thinking of them is text messaging. When your husband gets a text message saying I love you it’s like getting a “wish you were here” postcard to him. It makes him feel happy that you thought about him enough to send a simple message. Even though it’s simple, he still likes it and knows that you love him.
    Have sex with him…often

    I know it’s cliche. But this cliche is true. Men feel close to their wife when they know that you want (and like) to have sex with him. If you don’t want to have sex with him, he begins to wonder why. He begins thinking that maybe you’re not in love with him, or maybe there’s something wrong with him. After all, when you’re married there are no other reasons to not have sex.

    Sex is a great way to show intimacy and passion in ways that you can’t show with anyone else. So when your husband knows you want to have sex with him it makes him feel special. And he feels loved as a result.

    Yes, men and women really are different. And nowhere is this more apparent than how men and women feel loved. But knowing these things can help you show love to your husband in ways that he sees and appreciates. And when he sees and appreciates how much you love him, you two will grow together in loving, intimate ways that you never knew you could.

 
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Posted by on September 1, 2014 in Love

 

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A feeling that will last forever

“I am idealistic in my thoughts. I always maintained a safe distance to my boyfriend and we didn’t even kiss each other for a year since our relationship started. Now, it was his birthday, and he was waiting for his gift in his friend’s house, where we planned to meet. I got the best wallet that I could afford and nicely rapped it in a gift pack.

After giving the gift, we sat talking about our friends, weather, college and every simple thing that we could recollect. We were shy or rather scared to talk out of the box, as we were not aware how the other would feel. Strange! I knew with his gestures what he was longing for. I knew I had to make the first move, as he was scared that I would slap him or break the relationship if he did that first.First kiss, A feeling that will last forever

So, this is the story of the first kiss. I asked him to close his eyes, (as I couldn’t even think of getting near him when his eyes were open) and kissed him gently on his eyes. Now, my macho man was stunned, excited rather puzzled with the whole situation. He didn’t even know how to react. He went out of the room telling me that he just forgot something.

Now I was in his shoes. I thought I misunderstood him and he was not ready for it. At that moment he walked in with a smile and said, ‘thank you’. I had a sigh of relief. He then asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was my turn. Yes it was.

First kiss, A feeling that will last foreverThe guys are smart; they utilize every move that we make. My boyfriend was not an exception. When I had closed my eyes, he softly kissed my lips. Guess what! The reaction was not the same. I had a hearty laugh. When I opened my eyes I found him standing in attention, looking at me, for my next move. Rather he was standing like a scared bird that would fly the very moment I would cry and say, “How dare you?”

We still cherish the first touch, the first kiss, the first candle light dinner…and every sweet moment that we spent together for five long years. This moment will be most treasured till the last breath, as it was the first and unique kiss, with a feeling that will last forever.”

 
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Posted by on August 22, 2014 in Love

 

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Romantic Love Messages for You

There was a blind girl who was filled with animosity and despised the world. She didn’t have many friends, just a boyfriend who loved her deeply, like no one else. She always used to say that she’d marry him if she could see him. Suddenly, one day someone donated her a pair of eyes.

And that’s when she finally saw her boyfriend. She was astonished to see that her boyfriend was blind. He told her, “You can see me now, can we get married?”

She replied, “And do what? We’d never be happy. I have my eye sight now, but you’re still blind. It won’t work out, I’m sorry.”

With a tear in his eye and a smile on his face, he meekly said, “I understand. I just want you to always be happy. Take care of yourself, and my eyes.”

Girl: Can I confess something?
Guy: Sure!
Girl: You have the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen.
Guy: Can I confess something as well?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: This smile only exists because Of you!

Once a guy said to a girl: “Love is like a rainbow, it’s colourful and makes people smile.
Love is like an ocean, it’s deep and beautiful.
Love is like the sun, it shines and it’s warm.
Love is like rain, it’s calm and refreshing.
Will you let me show you that love?”

The girl shook her head while smiling: “No”

The guy looked down sadly and then he heard her saying these words: “I want you to show me YOUR love…”

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2014 in love quotes, Uncategorized

 

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