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Happiness came alone

This is my story. About the love that came alone.

Three years ago I was 23 years old and very unhappy. I had just left a rich, non-committed man who wanted to marry me and gave me everything I needed.

But one day, April 1 it was and just like in a joke I left him. There was a reason and quite a serious one. He wanted to own me. Leaving him meant losing my job (because I worked for him), my love, my comfort and money.

Another man helped me leave him; he was the third man in my life. I was madly in love with him. I simply adored him. Two months after we began dating, his ex-girlfriend called him and told him she was pregnant. He went crazy. He began behaving weird. He didn’t know what to do. Go to her or stay with me. At the end, he left me.

I cried myself out. For months and maybe years.

I started dating other men and hurting them. For only a year I went to bed with 5 men and left them in the worst possible way. I made them cry and beg me.

I felt nothing. I was the cruelest being in the world. My heart was broken and I found no meaning of life. But at a certain point I calmed down. I forgot the man that left me. He married that woman he left me for. I lost him forever and I knew I needed to move forward and to go back to normal, to somehow save my soul.

Weird enough after this so called balance, Paco appeared. I was at a bar and he approached and started talking to me. We spent our time together until 4 am and we couldn’t get enough of each other. It was hard at the beginning. He had just been abandoned by a woman he was 5 years with. So he was being mean to me. But I knew best what he felt and waited for the moment he would reach that calmness that I felt and everything will be perfect. Yes, I waited for him to go through that same hell I did, through the same agony for the unrequited love and I don’t feel sorry about it. Because now I have next to me the man I can rely on totally. I love him and I cannot imagine my life without him. We have our wedding planned in 3 months time, exactly two years after we met. And I think that happiness comes alone to us, without looking or crying for it. The only thing we need is to be at peace with ourselves.

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Posted by on November 3, 2014 in Love

 

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5 simple ways to show your wife how much you love her

 

For the most part, men and women have different views when it comes to how to show affection and love. Many men are not the romantics. They may only show their love and affection in the privacy of the bedroom. But a touch of romance beyond the bedroom never hurts in a marriage.

I knew from day one my husband was not the romantic type. He views romance in a different light. But he has come a long way. Throughout the years, he learned how to romance me. He shows me how much he loves me through minor details – baking my favorite muffins on a Sunday morning, buying me random gifts, sending an email explaining how much he appreciates me, or putting fresh flowers from our garden with a sweet note in our bedroom. Though they are minor details, it means more to me than anything lavish.

What your wife considers romantic may not necessarily be romantic to you. And that is OK. However, try to bring forward a tiny piece of romance into your marriage as often as possible. If your wife is romantic towards you, study what she does and says. You will slowly realize how easy it is to show your wife love.

Gentlemen, here are a few simple ways to let the love of your life know how much you love her.
A gift

If your wife points out to something she likes, but, unfortunately, cannot afford at the time, take a mental picture of the item. On a day you are alone, buy it for her. This will show your wife you were listening to her and that you care. Another idea to consider is writing a sentimental note and placing it in her purse.
Be supportive

If you see your wife in distress, without telling her, start working on her to-do list. Help the children with their homework and school projects or do the food shopping on a day she’s working late. Your wife may develop stress from work. Take out time to talk to her about why her job is stressing her. Sometimes talking things out relaxes a person.
Reminisce

Walk down memory lane.Talk about a memorable moment you both shared. Maybe the memory was something that happened at your wedding, at a friend’s party or a simple walk in the park. The memories will bring back magical feelings.
Attention

When your wife needs someone to talk to, turn off the television, the computer and put your cell phone aside. A slight sign of distraction will send off the wrong signal to her. She will think you do not care. Giving your wife undivided attention only shows her you are interested in what she has to say.


Advice

If you find yourself troubled or confused over something, ask your wife for advice. Let her know her opinion matters.

If you have love in your heart, don’t hold back on showing your wife. Showing her will brighten up her days and bring more sparks into the marriage. Let your heart do the work.

 
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Posted by on October 23, 2014 in Love

 

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Beyond just sex, finding real intimacy with your spouse

Intimacy includes the realms of emotional, social, mental, spiritual, experiential and sexual closeness. Intimacy is defined as “a close, familiar, and personal relationship with another person; a detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, person, period of history; or an expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like.” While society often focuses on sexual expressions of intimacy, sex is only one kind of a token — a symbol or evidence of — one realm of intimacy, not actual intimacy itself. How then, can a couple fill the deeper need for true intimacy beyond their sexual relationship?
Pray

Talk together to God as if he is the Father who cares because he is. Talk to him as if he is the God with power to help because he can. Pray individually, but also pray as a couple and as a family. Praying together will also teach you the concerns and gratitudes important to your spouse. My husband and I have already noticed that praying together softens our hearts and prompts us to positive changes we can make individually and together.
Focus on the other

One couple struggled because neither of them felt any intimacy needs were being met, but realized they spent most of their time brooding internally about feeling neglected by the other. Consciously looking for ways to serve their spouse not only helped them get to know each other better, but also helped them each feel more loved. Small and simple acts of service for each other will go a long way toward melting hard hearts and returning your relationship to a place of tenderness.
Listen

Being attentive to someone you love is the best way to learn who he is and how to meet his needs. We learn and grow every day, and so are not the same as we were yesterday — much less 10 or 20 years ago. Listening well to your spouse will help you feel connected to him, understand where he is in personal development struggles, support him in challenges, and discover ways you can help.
Counsel together

There is a lot of “business” in a relationship, from childcare to finances to housekeeping. These are shared responsibilities for both partners, and so it is important to take time to discuss these issues regularly and often. How does your spouse feel about the job? What’s been hard with the kids lately? Where can pennies be pinched, and what are you doing well? What spiritual guidance has each felt that needs to be applied as a family? What has there not been enough time to say, and what are you especially grateful for this week? How do you need help, and what is going well? These are all important things to communicate with your spouse, and the answers from your spouse will give you new pieces to who she is today and who she wants to become.
Spend time together

Couples often forget they are a “couple,” above all else. Work, kids, caring for aging parents, and community responsibilities are all a good part of life, but couples need time together when they are just a couple. Make time for regular date nights and find activities you can do together — apart from the regular “business” meetings together. You can be creative, rekindling your courtship without spending a lot of money or neglecting other duties. Include the Passion Plan as part of your time together!
Encourage instead of criticize

Sex can meet some of our needs for touch and closeness, if shared lovingly as a couple focused on the other. But some of those same needs can also be met by appreciating our spouse, celebrating her successes and engaging in non-sexual touch. When we appreciate, our spouse will recognize success and be motivated to try harder. When we hold hands, touch our spouse’s back as we reach past them for something or even dance together in the kitchen, these communicate closeness and touch in tender ways.
Remember the three T’s

Laura M. Brotherson, the author of “And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment,” points out that women need talk, touch and time to feel loved and to be prepared for physical expressions of that love. Talking will help you feel emotionally connected, time will help you both feel appreciated and understood, and non-sexual touch will help her feel loved without the pressure of expectation. This creates a safe and inviting environment in which she can respond with her own demonstrations of love and affection. It is emotional intimacy that improves physical intimacy.

Intimacy is more than just sex, and sex alone does not fulfill our needs for intimacy. It means to know someone well, and to work hard at loving well. To love someone else means to serve willingly, and with good cheer. It means to forgive, apologize, and appreciate. Increase love by expressing it. Express it internally through positive thoughts and appreciation. Express it outwardly through continued and ongoing courtship. Serving each other will help you see your spouse the way God sees him or her.

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2014 in Love

 

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Ways to show your husband you love him

 

    Men and women share a lot of similarities. But they’re also vastly different. And I don’t just mean anatomically. Men have different drives, desires and motivations than women. And because men and women are different sometimes there are a lot of misunderstandings between the genders.

    Nowhere are men’s and women’s differences more apparent than in how men and women feel loved. Because you love your husband you want him to know it. But because he’s a man sometimes it’s difficult for you to show him you love him in ways that he will see. So sometimes you feel like he really doesn’t understand how much you love him. Well, here are three things you can do to show your husband that you really do care.
    Plan the date once in a while

    There’s an unspoken expectation that men are supposed to be the ones to plan the date. And, usually, they’re happy to do it. But after a while they begin to feel that it’s misbalanced for them to always be the one to do it. After all, you’re both married now so why does he have to be the one to do it all the time?

    Planning the date shows your husband that you care about your marriage enough to break old gender stereotypes and plan the date once in a while. And this will show him that you care in big ways that he will see and appreciate.
    Send random texts

    Everyone has seen postcards that say something like “wish you were here.” And when you received one of these postcards it makes you feel good that someone was thinking about you enough to lick a stamp and send it to you. It’s not a big, long letter expressing undying love. It’s just a simple postcard. But it still made you feel loved.

    Nowadays, e-communication has taken the place of snail-mail and postcards. But e-communications can still have the same effect. And one of the ways of showing someone you’re thinking of them is text messaging. When your husband gets a text message saying I love you it’s like getting a “wish you were here” postcard to him. It makes him feel happy that you thought about him enough to send a simple message. Even though it’s simple, he still likes it and knows that you love him.
    Have sex with him…often

    I know it’s cliche. But this cliche is true. Men feel close to their wife when they know that you want (and like) to have sex with him. If you don’t want to have sex with him, he begins to wonder why. He begins thinking that maybe you’re not in love with him, or maybe there’s something wrong with him. After all, when you’re married there are no other reasons to not have sex.

    Sex is a great way to show intimacy and passion in ways that you can’t show with anyone else. So when your husband knows you want to have sex with him it makes him feel special. And he feels loved as a result.

    Yes, men and women really are different. And nowhere is this more apparent than how men and women feel loved. But knowing these things can help you show love to your husband in ways that he sees and appreciates. And when he sees and appreciates how much you love him, you two will grow together in loving, intimate ways that you never knew you could.

 
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Posted by on September 1, 2014 in Love

 

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A feeling that will last forever

“I am idealistic in my thoughts. I always maintained a safe distance to my boyfriend and we didn’t even kiss each other for a year since our relationship started. Now, it was his birthday, and he was waiting for his gift in his friend’s house, where we planned to meet. I got the best wallet that I could afford and nicely rapped it in a gift pack.

After giving the gift, we sat talking about our friends, weather, college and every simple thing that we could recollect. We were shy or rather scared to talk out of the box, as we were not aware how the other would feel. Strange! I knew with his gestures what he was longing for. I knew I had to make the first move, as he was scared that I would slap him or break the relationship if he did that first.First kiss, A feeling that will last forever

So, this is the story of the first kiss. I asked him to close his eyes, (as I couldn’t even think of getting near him when his eyes were open) and kissed him gently on his eyes. Now, my macho man was stunned, excited rather puzzled with the whole situation. He didn’t even know how to react. He went out of the room telling me that he just forgot something.

Now I was in his shoes. I thought I misunderstood him and he was not ready for it. At that moment he walked in with a smile and said, ‘thank you’. I had a sigh of relief. He then asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was my turn. Yes it was.

First kiss, A feeling that will last foreverThe guys are smart; they utilize every move that we make. My boyfriend was not an exception. When I had closed my eyes, he softly kissed my lips. Guess what! The reaction was not the same. I had a hearty laugh. When I opened my eyes I found him standing in attention, looking at me, for my next move. Rather he was standing like a scared bird that would fly the very moment I would cry and say, “How dare you?”

We still cherish the first touch, the first kiss, the first candle light dinner…and every sweet moment that we spent together for five long years. This moment will be most treasured till the last breath, as it was the first and unique kiss, with a feeling that will last forever.”

 
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Posted by on August 22, 2014 in Love

 

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Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt To Film ‘Love Story’ Together For ‘Special’ Movie

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Nine years after their first movie ‘Mr and Mrs Smith’ became a worldwide hit, longtime lovers Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are reuniting on the big screen, according to a new report.

Angelina Jolie, 39, and Brad Pitt, 50, are making another movie together! The parents of six will move out to Europe for eight weeks to film a “love story,” according to a new report. Read on for all of the details about this top-secret movie project!

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt: Couple Will Film ‘Love Story’ Movie Together

Angelina and Brad are packing up and heading off to Malta, an island in the Mediterranean Sea, to film a new flick together, according to US Weekly.

The family will arrive in late August — and “they’ll be filming in Mgarr ix-Xini Bay in Gozo,” a source tells the mag. How exciting! Even better than hearing Brangelina will be in a movie together? Hearing that it will reflect their real life. It’s “a love story,” according to the report.
‘Seinfeld’: The “Family” Show About Masturbation?

Stars from the 90s’ talk about what made Seinfeld such a hit.

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We can’t wait to see these real-life lovebirds on screen together. The flick is sure to be a box office hit considering it’s starring two of Hollywood’s most popular actors!
Will you watch an Angelina and Brad movie?
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Angelina had previously shared a few movie details with Extra, saying:

“It’s the kind of movie we love but aren’t often cast in. It’s a very experimental, independent-type film where we get to be actors together and be really raw, open, try things.”
Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt — What They Bought Daughter Shiloh For Her Birthday

When Angelina’s not busy being a movie star and philanthropist, she’s a mom! Her daughter Shiloh Jolie-Pitt turned 8 years old on May 27 — and we know what her famous parents bought her! “She’s very into skating. She’s a skateboarder. We did graffiti lessons and skateboarding,” Ang told E! on a red carpet for her movie Maleficent. Sounds like fun!

Will YOU watch a “love story” movie starring real-life lovebirds Angelina and Brad, HollywoodLifers? Let us know!

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Posted by on July 7, 2014 in Love

 

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The 10 Elements of a Soulmate

As the American writer Richard Bach said, “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.”

Ah, soulmates. The epitome of love and partnership. In our fast-paced chaotic world, which boasts all sorts of different people, we find ourselves skimming through more relationships than we’d like in order to find that one person who can truly open our locks.

Not just anyone can fulfill you the way your soulmate can. There’s a world of a difference between your soulmate, your heart’s other half and a life partner — a person who lacks the elements to mold perfectly to you. Your soulmate makes you feel entirely whole, healed and intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.

Most of us remain in life-partner relationships because we “settle,” for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, we may have a real subconscious fear of being alone. And since we’re biologically designed to fall in love, it’s only natural that we pair up in this world. But we sometimes prolong what are meant to be temporary relationships and mistakenly settle into them for good. There are relationships which must last for a certain period of time to close out a karmic chapter of life, relationships in which we’re meant to have children with our partner but not necessarily remain with them, and relationships which are just plain confusing because a melting pot of emotions doesn’t allow us to see our predestined path.

I’ve seen it all in my practice as a psychologist, from couples who married their childhood loves to people in their retirement years who still struggle with commitment issues. Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes, meaning that we experienced several relationships before finding the person we believe to be our perfect pairing. Whether you’re currently married, in a relationship, or contemplating entering a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you know what role this person will play in your life. After all, there’s no avoiding the inevitable, often uncomfortable question we must ask ourselves: Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with? Or did I settle too quickly into a relationship with someone who can never complete me?

No matter the category you fit into to, there are several indications which clearly outline a soulmate bond (or a lack of bond) between you and your partner. As you go through this list, think about your partner or potential partner and evaluate whether they meet the soulmate crite

The 10 Elements of a Soulmate:

1. It’s something inside. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It’s a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who finsh each other’s sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.

4. You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other’s imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

5. It’s intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you’re focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

6. You two against the world. Soulmates often see their relationship as “us against the world.” They feel so linked together that they’re ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soulmate by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on compromise and unity above all else.

7. You’re mentally inseparable. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soulmates.

8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. This means that if you’re a man, yes, your woman should make you feel protected, too! Your soulmate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.

9. You can’t imagine your life without him (or her). A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can’t imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. You look each other in the eye. Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other’s eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.

Whether you’re designed by the universe to be soulmates or two loving people who have settled for each other’s strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours. The beauty of free will is that you can remain in or change any relationship as you see fit. To be with your soulmate is one of the precious treasures of life. And if you feel you’ve found your heart’s other half, I wish you endless days of joy and laughter, and countless nights of deep embrace, unraveling the mysteries of the universe one by one.

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2014 in Love

 

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